Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
