She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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