i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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