Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize