also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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