Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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