I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
