All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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