i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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