I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize