If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
