Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
