my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize