fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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