my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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