for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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