She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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