My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
