Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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