I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
