Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
