Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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