sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
