i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
