I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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