I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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