Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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