I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
