I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
