I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Still dying that you shit outside
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Those nachos came to me in a dream
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
