Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
