every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
