Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
