I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
