Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
