I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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