his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
My bed smells like the plague
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
