You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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