I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
