I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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