Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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