He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
