that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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