why didn't you poke me back
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
