he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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