he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Randomize