I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
the day after is always just damage control
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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