Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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