Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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