and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
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Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
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Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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