Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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