Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
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i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
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My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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