Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
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