maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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