i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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