It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Randomize
